When Rachel Taylor Brown gets into a song – she owns it absolutely – she knows where it’s going, where it’s been and where it was at 7pm last Tuesday night. Her songwriting relationship is a complicated one that she puts simply: “it was about getting down what I hear in my head and being a better steward to it.” Her pen has been busier than ever as she presents “Susan Storm’s Ugly Sister and Other Saints and Superheroes”, a collection with a story behind the title that pleases me beyond words of my own. So here’s Brown’s:  

“Susan Storm's Ugly Sister’ is the first song I wrote for the album, and the first track. It's about a sister I made up for the beautiful Susan Storm, the Invisible Woman in the Fantastic Four. I made the sister ugly and without super powers, and bitterly envious of her gorgeous sibling's power to turn invisible. Ugly sister sits in a cafe and broods and thinks bad thoughts at the people who routinely look through her and ignore her, and she has an epiphany:  It may not be super, but she does have the power to be invisible!  She--in my imagination--goes on to a satisfying if somewhat conflicted life of crime after that. The rest of the album is about other superheroes, and saints.”

Can’t beat a title with superhero influences. The content on the record is explained further by Rachel – “It's half about the disgruntled, non-super relatives of superheroes and the stories I made up about them, and half about real saints and the stories I made up about them.” If you can catch her play the tunes live, do so. She’ll be back at the studio again shortly with tons of material to get through, so get into the XXQ’s for a whole lot more.

XXQs: Rachel Taylor Brown

PensEyeView.com (PEV): What goes through your head the minute you walk onto
stage?

Rachel Taylor Brown (RTB):  It depends on what comes before.  If I'm loading in and there's no sound person and we're trying to set up and do our own soundcheck while people are coming in and coming up and saying "hi," I'm usually distracted and sweaty, maybe cranky, nervous. If I was able to load in and soundcheck earlier in the day and then had some time in between to pull myself together, I'm much happier, though probably still worrying I forgot something (guest list, set list, gear) and wishing the bathroom were near the stage.

Starting to play the songs always seems to put me into the right head space, thank gud.

PEV: Hailing from Portland, Oregon, what kind of music where you listening to growing up? When did you find the love for music?

RTB:  The Beatles, XTC, Ben Folds Five, Stevie Wonder, Randy Newman, Elliott Smith. Later, Hugo Distler, Bach, Charles Ives, as more classical stuff was introduced to me.  There was always music going on in my house growing up, so I fell in love with it very young.

PEV: Tell us about your creative process… What kind of environment do you have to be in to work?

RTB:  There's no real process and any place is fine. I just try to pay attention to ideas as they come. Quiet's good, though I've written things while on tour in a van w/ music playing and my bandmates talking.  I've been writing mostly piano-based stuff in the past few years so it's nice to be near a piano.  But if I'm not, I just hum the chord notes and parts (one at a time, consecutively) into my antique handheld cassette recorder, or my phone. If I have a process, that's it--a lo-tech, ancient process. A friend tells me I really need to get an iPhone so I can get the 4-track recorder app.  He laughs at my cassette recorder.

PEV: What can fans expect from a live Rachel Taylor Brown show?

RTB:   My answer to your first question is surely enough to entice almost any potential show-goer.  But in addition to a distracted, crappy hostess you can expect poor impulse control, and profanity.

PEV: Tell us about your first live performance. How have you changed since that first show to where you are now?

RTB:  When I just now gave it some thought, I realized I really haven't changed that much.  Which surprises me.  I think of myself playing the piano at my friend's sister's wedding in high school, and the picture of me hunched over the keyboard looks a lot like any picture of me now, hunched over the keyboard.  Weird.

PEV: What can fans expect from your recent work, "Susan Storm's Ugly Sister and other Saints and Superheroes"?

RTB:  Something generally smaller and quieter than my previous album (Half Hours With the Lower Creatures), though there is a fierce medieval orchestra in "St. Fina" and tap dancers in "Zoe of Rome."  Some plain, piano/voice songs.  I think it's fun even while it's horrific.

PEV: How is this album different from other albums out today?

RTB:  It's half about the disgruntled, non-super relatives of superheroes and the stories I made up about them, and half about real saints and the stories I made up about them.  I don't really have a good handle on other albums out today, but I feel I'm fairly successful at failing to appeal to current tastes.

PEV: Where do you feel you will be ten years from now?

RTB:  In Portland, hopefully not surrounded by an additional billion transplanted musicians.

PEV: What’s one thing we’d be surprised to hear about you?

RTB:  I have a good jump shot.

PEV: Was there a certain point in your life when you knew that music was going to be a career for you and you were determined to make it happen?

RTB:  Being so deeply involved in it, I always vaguely thought "yeah, I'll probably do something in music."  But I didn't really have much focus. After working through some difficult years and a whole lot of shit, I did come to a point of real decisiveness. But it wasn't about career or getting out there and making a living--it was about songwriting and getting down what I hear in my head and being a better steward to it. I'd written songs as long as I can remember but I started taking it more seriously, as though something depended on it.  Sounds like megalomania. But I did and do have a sense of responsibility to my songs, even when I wasn't sharing them with anyone but my sister and my husband, or an empty room. I love songwriting.

PEV: What one word best describes Rachel Taylor Brown?

RTB:   Skeptical.

PEV: Traveling is now a large part of your life. How is life on the road for you? Best and worst parts? Any fun stories?

RTB:  The last time I was on the road was in April with The Fear of Heights, another band I play in.  I like touring, except for the long stretches of sitting and being wedged into a tiny motel room or homestay with 5 smelly boys.  I think it's fun to study them, like Dian Fossey.

PEV: You mentioned on your site that you “used to get out a lot more but worried frequently about going crazy. Then had a nervous breakdown and was a hermit for about 8 years, during which she wrote a lot.” Tell us more about that time?

RTB:  Uhh...it's kind of a long story. Feel free to skip it if you want. I'll see if I can summarize.

Leading up to the breakdown, I got more and more agoraphobic and hermity. I had real trouble being around people, which was tough because I was generally thought of as outgoing and "there" for others.  I was a big family person.

The breakdown happened because I couldn't avoid dealing with the unthinkable anymore, which was an older brother's having messed with me when I was a kid, and the aftermath of that. Not a recovered memory - I remembered and never forgot it, though I tried very hard to minimize it and not think about it.  It wasn't handled well and I was left on my own to deal with it as a little kid. That does some weird things to your circuitry, growing up. What helps as a coping mechanism early on becomes like poison to you as time wears on.  Hence, the eventual burning out, withdrawal, etc.

You just get tired, pretending like nothing ever happened--for everyone, for yourself, to get by day to day. You don't want to give anything away, so you have to act normal even though you're freaking out inside, all the time, like a ticking bomb. You feel the weight of responsibility for the happiness of the family and the person who hurt you.  Dumb, I know, but a feeling rigorously enforced by cultural codes--family, religion.  You just wear out, and there's nowhere to go.  I felt crazy and trapped a lot, growing up, and like a really good actor.

I thought he might be messing w/ my (and his) niece, and that was the catalyst for my finally talking about it and dealing with it.  It didn't go over well with my family, though no one denied what he did to me, including him.  The main priority was to make sure my niece was safe.  But my vision of family understanding and sorrow over what I'd been through wasn't realized, as (I found later) it usually isn't for survivors of incest. They tend to take the brunt of the family's anger, for telling and "breaking up the family."  I laugh now to think I ever thought that sympathy would be there.  At the time, it was surprising and devastating--even more than dealing w/ the abuse itself.  It's a hard thing to have to come to grips with your family hating and resenting you, in your biggest time of need. I felt horribly guilty and desperate for understanding and love.

A bad time, and really, finally, spirit-breaking in a big way for me.  My husband Jay and my sister Katie saved my ass, along w/ a dear couple of friends. I didn't want to be here.  It took a long time and a lot of hard work, but now I very much want to be here. I love my life and the people in it.

PEV: How have all your friends and family reacted to your musical career? What’s it like when you get to play at your hometown?

RTB: I'm estranged from all but Katie and one brother I'm in e-mail contact with.  But I know my family's curious.  A couple siblings have turned up unexpectedly at shows--not a good idea! Aagh. I drank two whiskeys right before I went on stage. Thank you, helpful whiskey.  I've also had some correspondence with my niece. My immediate family--Jay, Katie, friends--are the best support I could ask for.  My friend, Jeff, who I record with, is a great support.

My shows in Portland vary.  I've played to empty rooms and (less often) full. I'm a homebody and indeed don't get out much, so I feel guilty asking people to come out to my shows.

PEV: What can we find you doing in your spare time, aside from performing?

RTB:  I like reading, playing the piano, biking, the sea, my peoples.  And going out to breakfast (any hour of the day).  Oh, and TV.  And the animals.

PEV: Is there one artist or group that would be your dream collaboration?
Why?

RTB:  I don't work well with others.  I'd like to have a symphony orchestra at my disposal, though.

PEV:  Is there an up and coming band or artist you think we should all be looking out for now?

RTB:  Aaghh, I'm the last person you should ask that question, I'm so band ignorant.  But I can thank Fear of Heights for a little education on the road, via the iPods.

From what I've heard it sounds like what used to be called "derivative" has become out-and-out imitation, more and more.  I don't know if the imitators want listeners to forget the originals or remember them.  I don't think it's a good sign if someone sounds so exactly like, for instance, Neil Young, you can't tell the difference.  Or Nick Drake.  Or Thom Yorke. Or Cat Power.  Maybe everyone likes that feeling of familiarity, I don't know. I like M.I.A. because she struck my ear as so fresh when I first heard her.  I also like St. Vincent, Fiona Apple, P.J. Harvey.  Antonio Saraiva reminds me of Charles Ives--I think both of them are wonderful. My friend Chris Robley is bucking the beardly/gentle folky trend like crazy.

PEV: If playing/writing music was not your career, what would you most likely be doing?

RTB:  Probably something in real estate.  I have an unhealthy obsession with houses.  I love them and wish I could collect them like marbles.  I could probably summarize the $50,000-$450,000 listings in the Portland area for you, if you wanted.  Do you want?

PEV: What is the story behind the name of the album, "Susan Storm's Ugly
Sister and other Saints and Superheroes"?

RTB:  "Susan Storm's Ugly Sister" is the first song I wrote for the album, and the first track. It's about a sister I made up for the beautiful Susan Storm, the Invisible Woman in the Fantastic Four.  I made the sister ugly and without super powers, and bitterly envious of her gorgeous sibling's power to turn invisible.  Ugly sister sits in a cafe and broods and thinks bad thoughts at the people who routinely look through her and ignore her, and she has an epiphany:  It may not be super, but she does have the power to be invisible!  She--in my imagination--goes on to a satisfying if somewhat conflicted life of crime after that. The rest of the album is about other superheroes, and saints.

PEV: So, what is next for Rachel Taylor Brown?

RTB:  More recording with my friend, Jeff Stuart Saltzman.  I have three albums ready to go and need to decide which to start on.  But I need to sell some plasma or something, first.